Happy Valentine’s Day . . . fall in love again!

By Judi Yang

Most of us spend precious time to find the right partner for our lives. After we reach the highest point of dating, marriage becomes the most important milestone. But as time goes by, things change. Many people have experienced the disappointment of seeing the feelings of love from the early days of marriage fade. If you are one of those who have had this feeling, you may want to reconsider whether your love has truly faded and if so, why. Have you ever tried to make your marriage stronger and healthier after so many years? I hope we can all do something to make our love better and our life happier. Love takes time to grow, especially after the initial excitement of being wed.

The first thing we can do is to be honest and to trust each other. True love is based on faith and trust. We should all open to faith, to trust, to believing in the best of each other. If we know we are wrong, the best thing to do is to be honest and to tell the truth. Then we can go one step further to make necessary changes. Words can be cheap. Be sure to put your words into action. Doing so will set a wonderful example for your husband or wife, your children, and the world around you.

Then we should learn to care each other better. Family is the space defined by love. If we live like roommates, I do not know how long the relationship will last and who it will be that will move out first. We not only need to share the burden of making money, we also need to share the love for each other, to share the love for children, and to share all the work to make the home filled with love. Everybody wants to be cared for. For example, men need regular physical and dental checks but they tend to forget about them. Women could help them by finding doctors, making appointments and reminding them of the dates. The small things demonstrate your love and caring toward him. In return, he will appreciate it and care for you all the more.

New research from Harvard Medical School finds that couples expressing the most empathy and affection are the most likely to stay together. We should all follow the principle of trying to understand first before looking to be understood. Also we should choose our words carefully communicating with each other in the family. People may think that since they are husband and wife, they could be especially straightforward. Wrong. We have to remember that the emotional bank account concept applies to everybody, even members of a family. If you withdraw too much without depositing, you will end up bankrupt. Smooth, considerate communication will bring us so much joy. The etiquette of communication affects our daily life, in your house and in mine.

Honesty, trust, caring and better communications are key to grow our love. Marriage should never be the tomb of love. If we spend time and resources to nurture it, marriage could easily become the garden of love and we will see flowers of love bloom. Love is fun. I sincerely wish all couples could bring the sparkle of love back to their lives. Happy Valentine’s Day . . . fall in love again!

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