The New China Etiquette - An e-publication by Chinese American Etiquette Association

The old saying: “When in Rome, do as the Romans” is not sufficient for bridging the communication gap and cultural differences between China and the US. The world operates in the climate of globalization with a constant need for cross-cultural communication. Chinese American Etiquette Association (CAEA) explores how interractions occur during a process of cultural adaptation between these two countries and cultures.

Monday, December 19, 2005

being knowledgeable about wine provides an edge in social and professional settings

by Laurent Guinand

In the summer of 2005, I had the opportunity to present two wine-tasting events organized by Vida Zhang Farigs, President of the Chinese-American Etiquette Association (CAEA) in Silicon Valley to a group of Asian-American individuals (mostly Chinese). The events were followed by a dinner where people could drink their preferred wines.

In both events, I had mixed white and red wines, single varietals and blends, light bodied and full bodied wines, new world and old world wines in order to provide a wide variety of taste, textures and aromas to our guest’s palate.

I provided techniques to taste the wines, recognize the flavors and the aromas and help people distinguish between what they enjoy and what they did not like. I also provided a number of insights into several subjects:

- Wine etiquette at the restaurant, at a wine store and at dinner parties
- Pairing wines and Asian food (principles and examples)
- New World Wines versus Old World Wines
- Food and wine pairing for European Cuisines
- Finding good value wines

I tremendously enjoyed my time with the two groups and I came back to the East coast with three main insights:

1. Our groups clearly preferred red wines and people were not shy about medium to full bodied wines. This was a surprise to me. In societies where wine is not central to the culture, there is usually a progression in the taste and appreciation of wine. Indeed, when people come to the age of drinking they tend to prefer beer or hard liquor (cocktails). They then move on to
white wines and or pinkish wines (blush or rosés).

Some of them stay there, but many people then jump to red wines, preferring single varietals and light bodied wines such as Gamay, Pinot Noir or Merlot. With time and maturity, there is another migration towards full bodied and more complex wines such as Red Zinfandel, Tempranillo, Cabernet Sauvignon and blends such as Bordeaux blends (also called Meritage in the US) and Rhone Valley Blends (Syrah / Grenache / etc…).

It seems that our group was naturally attracted to complex and sophisticated wines from the get go. I was personally very impressed by that fact.

2. Our groups were very inquisitive. I responded to many questions on why the wines tasted so differently, the wine making process, pairing food and wines and of course wine etiquette. I rarely find that level of curiosity and enthusiasm. I believe it was in part driven by the fact that most members of our groups are not only interested by wine for themselves, but also for professional reasons.

Knowing a bit about wines really helps in professional settings (restaurants, social dinners and even parties) in the US. Our guests recognize that the US itself is evolving from a beer society to a wine society and that there are many Americans who are quite passionate and knowledgeable about wine. Similarly to golf, being knowledgeable about wine provides an edge in social and professional settings. And our group is right: if you look at the statistics, the US will become the largest wine market in the world in a couple of years, ahead of France and Italy. So I can only applaud the group’ sense of anticipation.

3. Finally, our groups really enjoyed the experience of identifying and articulating their personal preferences. Participants were not only able to learn about wines in social settings but also were able to identify wines they liked from wines they did not like. We compared a couple of
interesting etiquette stories such as the half glass full being the norm in Europe (so that you can swirl the wine and enjoy the aromas) as opposed to the full glass in China as a sign that you are not "cheating" your customer or guest. I also learned a great deal during these sessions and I want to take this opportunity to thank all participants for their input and questions.

I certainly hope that I will be given the opportunity to present more wine seminars to these wonderful groups in the future.


Laurent Guinand is the President of GiraMondo Wine Adventures. He is based in Washington, DC. Laurent designs and presents Wine Tasting Seminars all around the World. He can be reached at lguinand@yahoo.com.

How Do They Celebrate Christmas?


A quote from Linda C.Y. Pei - President and Founder of Women's Equity Fund, which is the only women's equity fund in the world. Linda is on the CAEA Advisory Board and based in San Francisco.

My husband was raised Catholic but he is not a practicing Catholic anymore. We do observe Christmas and decorate the yard with lights and wreath and inside the house with Christmas tree and decorations - lots of nut cackers big and small.

For Christmas eve, we usually have a simple dinner - pasta often and my daughter always makes chocolate cookiers. When she was younger we would make as a family. She will save a plate full of cookies for Santa and leave it near the fireplace along with a glass of milk. She would write a note for Santa and leave it next to the cookies. (She is now 15 but still goes through the ritual, even though she knows Santa is really Dad). My husband always reat the cookies and drink half of the milk.

On Christmas morning, they always wake up before the parents (this is never the case during the rest of the year). They would come wake us up and are entitled to open the gifts in the stockings, hanging at the fireplace mantle. We then all go down for breakfast. The kids will play santa by distributing the gifts in turn. They would open all the gifts and end up playing with new toys the rest of the day. We have a Christmas dinner. Sometimes I cook duck or goose if I can find one and other times turkey or ham - and the side dishes - US style.

A quote from Dan Newman - Musician

If someone asks me at a party I'd say:

"well I don't celebrate christmas really, because I am jewish, although sometimes we celebrate because my sister in law is from a christian background. so we may give gifts at their house and they may have a christmas tree with presents under it for the kids. christmas is indeed a fun holiday."

A quote from liwen Huang - Director of Marketing, Pegasus Aviation Finance Company

To be honest, my history of celecrating Xmas is not very long. The celebrations were quite different from each other between in China and in US.

In China, there is no Xmas holidays,as you know. Therefore, Xmas is an event for younger generation. I don't know others, but for me and my friends, we used Xmas as an execuse to have a lot parties - hosting or attending parties. Eating is not so important in China. Sometime, we went to hotel to have expensive Xmas dinner. Xmas dinner in Chinese hotels serves turkey. Some time, we just hang out together to have dinner in whatever resturant we like.

In US, I still think turkey would be the traditional Xmas dinner. I still think, Xmas like Thanksgiving, is a traditional holidays for family memebers reunion. As an new immigrant, well, if I stay at home for Xmas, I will cook turkey. If I take this holidays as my vacations, I still want to have some turkey for my Xmas dinner.

Going to church by the year end would be good, although I am not a Christian. Spend some time at a sacred place to be a bit spiritual is good for a year-end conclusion.

A quote from Ming Lung Lee, President, Bridgewell, Inc.

We celebrate Christmas alone or travel afar to celebrate it together with relatives.

Celebrating Christmas begins with house decoration and gift shopping. Often but not always we put up a Christmas tree, large or small, with ornaments. We also have Christmas lights and let the Christmas music fill the atmosphere.

Christmas dinner is always special--a bit formal, with special food and drinks and abundance.

Gift opening under the Christmas tree after the dinner is always fun and exciting. Afterwards, we sing together and play music instruments--there are plenty of musicians in the family and even more instruments in the house.

Midnight mass marks another important Christmas activity of ours. It also closes the curtain on our Christmas Eve celebration.

A quote from Laurent Guinand - President and Founder of GiraMondo Associates LLC. Laurent is on the CAEA Advisory Board and based in Washington.

Here are a couple of things regarding how we celebrate Christmas in France:
1. We usually spend Christmas eve in one family and Christmas day in the other (mum’s and dad’s family)
2. The Christmas eve dinner is usually composed of 3 main dishes:

a.A buffet of appetizers that can include: foiegras, raw oysters, cooked shrimp, cooked crawfish, smoked salmon, toast and salads
b. A Turkey with chestnuts (Traditional dish)
c.A "Buche de Noel" which is a ice-cream cake shape like a log

3.Christian families go to mass at midnight and when they come back they have dessert
4. Kids discover their gifts under the Christmas tree in the morning. They are usually quite excited and wake up the entire house way before parents would like it to.
5.On the day of Christmas, there is usually a cult movie called "Peau d’Ane" aka "Magic Donkey" with Catherine Deneuve where a fairy godmother helps a
princess disguise herself so she won't have to marry a man she doesn't love.

A quote from Beth Fargis-Lancaster - Executive Producer of Vassar College and New York Stage and Film's Powerhouse Theater. Beth is on the CAEA Advisory Board and lives in New York.

I love Christmas and I come from a long line of people who also loved Christmas.Some of my traditions.Eating fish Christmas Eve. In the Catholic liturgy Advent, the four weeks prior to Christmas is a time of preparing for The Birth of Jesus. Historically on the last day of Advent,, Christmas Eve fish was eaten, no meat, to prepare for the birth of Christ. at 12 midnight.

Advent isn't practiced in my home but we still keep a few traditions. We eat fish on Christmas Eve ...It can be fancy fish like lobster or something simpler. I have kept the tradition from my mother and grandmother. We always have a rather "fancy" dinner on Christmas Eve and when my children are away I invite people who would be alone to our home for Christmas Eve. For some people the thought of being alone on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day is horrid. Other people don't mind.

We always decorate the house for Christmas and have many treasures passed down from my mother. I decorate the mantle with pine bows and always have plenty of candles burning and my husband has fires in both fireplaces as it can get cold here.. When my grandchildren are coming we usually put up two Christmas Trees, one in the living room and one in the great room. It is a lot of work getting it up and taking it down. but I do love the excitement for children and the way my house looks on Christmas. Each of the precious ornaments are wrapped in tissue paper and need to be re wrapped when put away. I will pass the Christmas ornaments on to my children.

I don't like to bake but I do love to cook and have prepared lots of yummy things for Christmas dinners in the past. pheasant, goose, duck, roast beef, crown roast of pork and lamb. I always set the table with good china, silver and crystal. I always use a linen tablecloth but in the last few years I have gotten smart and take the table cloths to the cleaners. We play lots of traditional Christmas music during the season and we always go into New York City to see the tree at Rockefeller Center. New York is a beautiful city at Christmas.

When we have been in San Francisco we stop in to see the big hotels that are decorated beautifully.If my grand daughters lived near buy I would take them to the Nutcracker Ballet and to see A Christmas Carol or to a Christmas concert so they could see live seasonal entertainment. Plus I would take them to see whoever is the BEST Santa in San Francisco. The one we went to see a few years ago in Macy's kept taking a break?I don't think Santa should take a break at Christmas and keep little children waiting in the basement of Macy's.

We send Christmas cards to friends and family but not nearly the number of cards that my parents use to send. My husband puts individual letters into cards to people we haven't seen during the year.Our family has always been very extravagant at Christmas. I had very generous parents and grandparents and I have kept up the tradition sometimes to the detriment of my master card bill in January. It is worth it to me as it only happens once a year.

Merry Christmas to all!

A quote from Douglas Lancaster - a retired professor at Cornell University. Doug lives in New York.

As you will see, these traditions vary greatly depending on ethnicity and religion. My family loved Christmas and my two sisters and I looked forward to it. The Christmas tree was obtained by dad and we put it up at least one week before Christmas. All of us contributed to the decorations of the tree. We had lots of ornaments and colored lights for the tree. And we popped corn and made a garland that we wrapped around the tree consisting of popcorn and cranberries strung on string.

Before we went to bed, we always placed a plate of cookies and a glass of milk on the piano for Santa. And we set up our stockings on the mantle over the fireplace. After we went to bed
and fell asleep, my parents would go downstairs and set presents from Santa under the tree.
Although many of our friends opened presents on Christmas morning, many did so on Christmas Eve.

We went to church (Methodist) for a short service on Christmas Eve. Early on Christmas morning we pestered mom and dad, asking if we could get up and go down stairs. After washing
up and putting on our bathrobes and slippers we waited at the top of the stairs until they went down to see if Santa had come during the night. Dad would light a fire in the fireplace, eat a piece of cookie, and drink some of the milk so that would be assured that Santa had come.

Our Christmas day meal was always a turkey which we ate in mid-afternoon. Mother did alot of baking at Christmas. Our favorite was a fruit cake. We also had a plum pudding for our dessert, which is typically English. Religion did not play a strong role in our Çhristmas.

The Top 5 Christmas Books, Songs and Movies

The Top 5 Christmas Books, Songs and Movies listed here are recommended by Michael Buckley, the author of “The Sisters Grimm” - the NY Times Best Seller for children. Michael is one of the special guest speakers for our CAEA members. If you would like to invite Michael to speak at your organization about children books/movies, please drop us a line at info@chinaetiquette.net

The Top 5 Christmas Books
1. The Night Before Christmas by Clement Clarke Moore - a classic tale of one man's encounter with Santa Claus.
2. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens - a story everybody in America cherishes. Scrooge's transformation is a valuable lesson about greed that is still as important today as it was a hundred years ago.
3. In God We Trust; All Others Pay Cash by Jean Shepherd. A collection of hilarious holiday stories based on the author's experiences growing up in Cleveland, Ohio in the 50's. The basis for the classic movie "A Christmas Story." This is a laugh out loud reading.
4. How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss - kids books don't get any better than this. A Holiday classic for every age.
5. The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry - a tale of the sacrifices we make for loved ones.

The Top 5 Christmas Songs
1.Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - this song is such a classic it would seem to be hundreds of years old when in fact it was written in the late fifties.
2. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus - this is one that I've heard a million times and never fails to make me smile.
3. Grandma Got Run Over by A Reindeer - Hilarious and sweet. This is one that makes you want to laugh and call Granny to make sure she's OK.
4. Silent Night - Bing Crosby is only one of a million people who have sung this song but his version always chokes me up. A beautiful song that reminds us what Christmas is really about.
5. Jingle Bell Rock - everyone has done this song but I think Brenda Lee nailed it best.

The Top 5 Christmas Movies
1. A Christmas Story - the funniest holiday movie ever. Everyone in it is a comic genius and its sweet, family-oriented humor never gets stale or old-fashioned. Every kid should see this film.
2. It's A Wonderful Life - absolutely the best holiday movie ever made. This is the basis of about a million other movies. Jimmy Stewart was never better.
3. Miracle on 34th Street - a heartwarming story for those who have forgotten the magic of Christmas.
4. Scrooged - Bill Murray is so great in this retelling of "A Christmas Carol."
5. The Nightmare Before Christmas - Tim Burton's stop-motion classic tells the story of Jack Pumpkinhead, the king of Halloween, who decides Christmas could use a little jolt of scary fun. This can be a little dark for toddlers but young kids will probably enjoy the humor and creativity of the story.